Sit quietly for a moment and count the sounds around you
I was Born in Cleveland Ohio of a Greek immigrant dad and a first generation Greek mom.
After years of struggles, Dad became a restaurant owner of a couple greasy spoons. He was a hard worker like most immigrants. In his early years he was part of the Greek exodus from Turkey, around 1920. The war was brutal. He went on to join a fleet of merchant shipping companies.
Mom was one of 11 children nearly held hostage by cultural traditions and illiteracy.
I was third of four children. The family was ruled by typical Greek culture. Typically women were subordinate and kept innocent. Men were dubbed the strong leader and in charge. My neighbor"Hood", dictated the same. the problem was, that was not who i really was inside. This struggle ended up tearing me apart for years.
All four children did their tour as child laborer in dad's restaurants.
Dad and mom were not home much. That left me alone to figure out what life's rules were. Don't get me wrong about their love for us. They did the best they knew how based on their cultural references.
Unfortunately I did not get to know my dad well until his last year of life. It still brings tears to my heart.
The result was pretty much a train wreck of self taught domestication. That means I was left to figure it all out on my own. Whenever I got in trouble with the law or life in general, I was able to either con my way out or pay the money bribe and voilà!, dismissed.
At 41, With alcohol under my belt from 14 years old, my life came to a screeching halt. As the song goes, I fought the law and the law finally won. I shamefully hurt a lot of people around me. To me, the miracles we look for are the unfortunate events that tear us down so we can build ourselves into the person we were prior to being domesticated by life. We often judge by saying "You are old enough to know better". I affirm the saying, "ya don't know what ya don't know". Just because you hear the law does not mean you know it.
Humans, One of this planets most complex machines. Yet we seldom get the leadership it takes to properly develop it. If we are lucky, we learn before we die. Look at our prisons. They are full of great soles never properly programed.
We hear and read what the rules are but do we just don't get it.
At that point of destruction I was struck by the God Thing. I mean, I hit bottom and reached out the only entity that I felt would listen. I'm not a real God guy now but it's a support system devised by man to control the flaws of millions.
Now as a senior and after 25 years of human behavior study, I decided to tell my story through my new belief system.
I can only hope i will touch one sole to get that person on track to enjoy the all the gifts and opportunities this planet offers.
I would like to thank the many friends and authors who help me achieve my personal freedom from the mask I wore for so many years.
I would also like to apologize for all the collateral damage I caused to my family and close friends.
Kyriakos John aka KJ