Are you being accountable to your self
This blog reveals how I cheated myself of joys in life.
I’d venture to say you will hear 10 different answers when asking someone what happiness means to them. Family, money, love, emotions or peace are just a few. Even those answers may be skewed depending on their experience with each. You know best for yourself, or do you? The goal is to understand, identify and then alter the method we practice managing accountability to our self. The result could be higher levels of peace and happiness which leads to less struggles in life. We often gauge happiness to “feel good” when dopamine flies through our body. The question is how we really know how happy we can be. If you were to walk for 20 years and then discover a bicycle you may be ecstatic to ride a bike across the country. Then one day you hop on a plane and get to west coast from the east coast in 5 hours. All that without a bathroom break.
When I say we may be cheating ourselves, it is to imply our built-in psyche misfires in the effort to quickly fix our natural wiring to feel good. Face it, it’s easier to blame others than to be accountable. There’s this cliché that says we are our biggest enemy. Example. When I stood on the edge of a bridge, negotiating to base jump off, it was me toying with me and the fear I experienced. Finally I jumped. I logged that as one of the most exciting accomplishments in my life. There was no one to tussle with except myself.
Being aware of our human wiring can help us remove internal blocks by altering how we manage the internal “FIXER”. When we become aware, we may discover what really makes us happy is far from what we thought. Have you ever commented, “I never thought I’d like that, but I really do.” This is a discovery of self-lying beneath the surface of our thinking. My A.D.D. thinking often causes me to make snap decisions only to discover the underlying reality of feeling better of something I thought I solved.
What I’ve come to be aware of is the fact that many decisions may be impulsive and there may be something underlying that would even make me feel better. Here lies the statement, “Being accountable to myself”. Saying and acting on something I know may be better for me. Searching and trying to discover that. Not settling for status quo.
I feel humans often misuse the concept of God just to accept status quo and not searching for a happier self. I agree with most of the principles outlined in many of the books. I don’t agree with how they are mostly used. I often site God in my blog. Not because I believe in him. Quite the contrary. I feel he is a contrived theory, made up by man just to blame him for our inability to be accountable and discover out great abilities. Then of course, you don’t want to believe it all ends someday.
The fix for satisfying our “Feel Good” wiring is more prevalent in the opioid sector. Although equally important but not in the forefront is eating, sex, shopping or some other external device to satisfy our pursuit to “Feel Good”. Some use anger or blame. Our operating system is born with an emotional and instinctive fixer to bring us more in balance. Much like drugs, our body uses our psyche to bring our levels of serotonin and dopamine in balance.
The quick fix I’m referring to is our uncanny instinctive talent for passing responsibility to a force outside of our inner machine. It’s the natural thing to do. Follow this example; in 2017, I attempted to summit a mountain. At 15,000 feet I turned back. At that moment of failure to continue climbing I had a conversation with what I believed was a force outside my body. Within 60 seconds I passed all responsibility for my success to that outside force. Because of my desire to feel good rather than be challenged, my psyche was convinced I could give up all effort and descend. Worst of all I accepted it and satisfied my wiring to feel good. Why not, it was easier than pushing on. I struggled with that day for two years. I struggled because I allowed myself to be talked out of being accountable.
Two years later, with much more self-awareness, I recognized I gave myself an excuse for not pushing on. Let me be clear, there are some feats better left alone. Like jumping into traffic. believing our molecular structure to reassemble itself after getting crushed may be a bit much. But we once didn’t imagine cloning.
But 90 years ago, our mind may not have given the possibility to walking on the moon. Just 30 years ago, we might not have thought some of the extreme accomplishments in the big snow pipe were possible. Those athletes recognized they had to conquer the internal psyche if they were to propel themselves into the improbable. They refused to listen to their old instinctive psyche. The talents of good coaches is to help us develop our instinctive psyche to be accountable. I believe these are inner thoughts of people like Mike Phelps, Shaun Roger White and Simone Biles. Don’t get me wrong, it takes more than psyche to achieve.
I have not spoken to them, so this is my opinion. They live in an attitude of “I’m going to get this”. They are accountable to who they really want to be. They search to discover more of who they want to be. Their desire to feel good was there. Their passion and drive to get higher levels of the feel-good neurotransmitters flowing were equal to those using drugs. The difference is having a better understanding of their self-accountability. When we heighten our expectations without training, our system does not think with judicial thinking and we could be in danger.
With that in mind I engaged in a physically fit program and returned to the mountain. This time 17,000 feet. The difference was, the first time I allowed my psyche to convince me an outside force was accountable for my destiny. The second effort I recognized I had to focus more on my internal devices. This time my body could not continue because of lack of oxygen and not because I was negotiating for a quick fix for my desire to feel good. I became totally accountable to myself. Yet as of this writing I realize I pushed my passion without the proper training. I need a better coach to get this 70-year-old to summit. So, the last 1500 feet is not off the plate yet.
Simone Biles holds herself responsible for all those magnificent achievements. Although impacted by the unfortunate events in the gymnastic world, she chose to overcome the external quick fix. She may thank God, and still give thought to the devastating influences, but it’s the coach training and proper development of her fierce drive to maximize her gifts. If she trips up, I’m sure her coach offers mental development as well as the physical training.
Many people struggle with happiness or success. Some wait for someone or something else to change their destiny. Spending twenty dollars per week on lottery tickets may be better served elsewhere.
So how does all this unmagical internal mess work? Some say, “I was born that way”. They are probably right. Our body and mind is built to fix itself. We use our emotions to get our neurotransmitters to fire the chemicals necessary to bring our feel-good instinct into balance. When something happens to upset that wiring our body kicks in a quick fix to up our Serotonin and Dopamine levels. The rush of this is like getting a subtle high.
Early in life we learned rebelling, anger and frustration bring the feel good in balance. Its always easier to pass responsibility rather than be accountable.
It takes a great deal of work to achieve extreme heights. ITS NOT EASY! I promise, it feels great when we get there. You know this when the simple accomplishments bring you joy.
Like in the arena of chemical addiction, our body gets accustom to its quick fix methods. Soon it does not respond so we step it up with more effort. Using blame and anger to bring us in balance. Soon we require elevated levels of it because like in drugs, our neuro-system needs more to achieve the same fix as last time.
This can grow into violent abuse of our self. Many move to strong chemicals or some other over dosed material addiction. We seem to accept food, sex, porn shopping or one of many legal overuses. If we don’t become aware of how our system works and how to alter it, we just push on and make it worse on ourselves. We become less accountable and more accusatory to get to “Feel Good”.
We don’t realize what we are doing because it has become a way of life. Kind of like our first language. It takes effort to learn another language and why should we when the when the language we speak is working.
Through studies and self-examination, the professional consensus is we are wired to like feeling good and are likely to do what we must in order to achieve the feeling. The quickest fix without external material devises is the psychological subrogation of blame.
[OUR GOAL SHOULD BE TO LEARN TO MANAGE THESE FEELLINGS BECAUSE THEY ARE SUBJECTIVE AND AN EMOTIONAL ILLUSION. Some call them lies.
We can learn to get the right transmitters flowing]
Before we move to the fix, here a couple more relatable examples of our internal quick fix:
• Lashing out at others
• Others then compensating with self-deprecating feelings of ourselves
• Excusing ourselves from accountability by blaming others.
• I can’t take a walk because it is raining.
• I can’t be healthier because I’m not unhealthy.
• Anger and hatred for ourselves or others.
• Waiting for God to deliver you.
Steps to The Fix
Become aware you are not as happy as you could be. Don’t compare today to the past to make this determination.
Have a vision and draw a dream.
Realize you may need a coach just like famous athletes or as Corporate leaders require a subordinate team to help lead them. At the least, read more.
Seek answers from places you don’t know exist. The Internet is full of FREE.
Chase the possibility
Talk with people in places you want to be. Its easy to find people in your current realm.
Educate yourself on the human condition
Moderate exercise, good diet, becoming aware of your creative side, and practicing methods to encourage calm are subtle catalysts. Don’t look for a fix in a day. It takes time to alter how your body has been behaving for years.
Good luck and remember; if you want to bash me for this article, it could be your human condition wedging a quick fix to your lack for accountability.
Your destiny is your choice. If you believe you are happy then continue on with life in the status quo.
You are not the only one with hurdles to overcome. Check out the link below