Are you being accountable to yourself
It may be a good idea to agree standards for happiness differ. For some it is money, love, emotions or peace. You know best for yourself. This blog is about the possibility of how we may be cheating ourselves. The goal is to understand, identify and then alter the method we practice managing accountability to our self. The result could be higher levels of peace and happiness which leads to less struggles in life.
When I say we may be cheating ourselves, it is to imply our built-in psyche misfires in the effort to quickly fix our natural wiring to feel good. Face it, it’s easier to blame others than to be accountable.
Being aware of our human wiring can help us remove internal blocks by altering how we manage the internal “FIXER”.
The fix for satisfying our “Feel Good” wiring is more prevalent in the opioid sector. Although equally important but not in the forefront is eating, sex, shopping or some other external device we use to satisfy our pursuit to satisfy our “Feel Good” wiring. Some use anger or blame. Our operating system is born with an emotional and instinctive fixer to bring us more in balance. Much like drugs, our body uses our psyche to bring our levels of serotonin and dopamine in balance.
The quick fix I’m referring to is our uncanny instinctive talent for passing responsibility to a force outside of our inner machine. It’s the natural thing to do.
Follow this example; four years ago, I attempted to summit a mountain. At 15,000 feet I turned back. At that moment of failure to continue climbing I had a conversation with what I believed was a force outside my body. Within 60 seconds I passed all responsibility for my success to that outside force. Because of my desire to feel good rather than be challenged, my psyche was convinced I could give up all effort and descend. Worst of all I accepted it and satisfied my wiring to feel good. Why not, it was easier than pushing on. I struggled with that day for two years. I struggled because I allowed myself to be talked out of being accountable.
Two years later, with much more self-awareness, I recognized I gave myself an excuse for not pushing on. Let me be clear, there are some feats better left alone. Like jumping into traffic, expecting our molecular structure to reassemble itself after getting crushed.
But 90 years ago, our mind may not have given the possibility to walking on the moon. Just 30 years ago, we might not have thought some of the extreme accomplishments in the big snow pipe were possible. Those athletes recognized they had to conquer the internal psyche if they were to propel themselves into the improbable. They refused to listen to their old instinctive psyche. The talents of good coaches is to help us develop our instinctive psyche to be accountable. I believe these are inner thoughts of people like Mike Phelps, Shaun Roger White and Simone Biles. Don’t get me wrong, it takes more than psyche to achieve.
I have not spoke to them so this is my opinion. Their “I’m going to get this” attitude is up front in the process. Their desire to feel good was there. Their passion and drive to get higher levels of the feel-good neurotransmitters flowing were equal to those using drugs. The difference is having a balanced understanding of their self accountability. When we heighten our expectations without training, our system does not think with judicial thinking and we could be in danger.
With that in mind I engaged in a physically fit program and returned to the mountain. This time 17,000 feet. The difference was, the first time I allowed my psyche to convince me an outside force was accountable for my destiny. The second effort I recognized I had to focus more on my internal devices. This time my body could not continue because of lack of oxygen and not because I was negotiating for a quick fix for my desire to feel good. I became totally accountable to myself. Yet as of this writing I realize I pushed my passion without the proper training. I need a better coach to get this 70 year old to summit.
Simone Biles holds herself responsible for all those magnificent achievements. Although impacted by the unfortunate events in the gymnastic world, she chose to overcome the external quick fix. She may thank God, and still give thought to the devastating influences, but it’s the coach training and proper development of her fierce drive to maximize her gifts. If she trips up, I’m sure her coach offers mental development as well as the physical training.
Many people struggle with happiness or success. Some wait for someone or something else to change their destiny. Spending twenty dollars per week on lottery tickets may be better served elsewhere.
So how does all this unmagical internal mess work. Some say, “I was born that way”. They are probably right. Our body is built to fix itself. We use our emotions to get our neurotransmitters to fire the chemicals necessary to bring our feel good instinct into balance. When something happens to upset that wiring our body kicks in a quick fix to up our Serotonin and Dopamine levels. The rush of this is like getting a subtle high.
Early in life we learned rebelling, anger and frustration, brings the feel good in balance. Its always easier to pass responsibility rather than be accountable.
It takes a great deal of work to achieve extreme heights. ITS NOT EASY! I promise, it feels great when we get there. You know this in the simple accomplishments that brought you joy.
Like in the arena of chemical addiction, our body gets accustom to its quick fix methods. Soon it does not respond so we step it up with stronger anger effort. Using blame and anger to bring us in balance soon requires elevated levels of it because like in drugs, our neuro system gets used to it and needs more to achieve the same fix as last time.
This can grow into violent abuse. Many move to strong chemicals or some other over dosed material addiction. We seem to accept food, sex, porn shopping or one of many legal overuses. If we don’t become aware of how the system works and how to alter it, we just push on and make it worse on ourselves. We become less accountable and more accusatory to get to “Feel Good”.
We don’t realize what we are doing because it has become a way of life. Kind of like our first language. It takes effort to learn another language and why should we when the one we are using seems to work well for us.
Through studies and self-examination, the professional consensus is we are wired to like feeling good and are likely to do what we must in order to achieve the feeling. The quickest fix without external material devises is the psychological subrogation of blame.
[OUR GOAL SHOULD BE TO LEARN TO MANAGE THESE FEELINGS BECAUSE THEY ARE SUBJECTIVE AND AN EMOTIONAL ILLUSION. We can learn to get the right transmitters flowing]
Before we move to the fix, here a couple more relatable examples of our internal quick fix:
• Lashing out at others
• Others then compensating with self-deprecating feelings of ourselves
• Excusing ourselves from accountability by blaming others.
• I can’t take a walk because it is raining.
• I can’t be healthier because I’m not unhealthy.
• Anger and hatred for ourselves or others.
• Waiting for God to deliver you.
Steps to The Fix
Become aware you are not as happy as you could be. Don’t compare today to the passed to make this determination.
Have a vision and draw a dream.
Realize you may need a coach just like famous athletes or as Corporate leaders require a subordinate team to help lead them. At the least, read more.
Seek answers from places you don’t know exist. The Internet is full of FREE.
Chase the possibility
Talk with people in places you want to be. Its easy to find people in your current realm.
Educate yourself on the human condition
Moderate exercise, good diet, becoming aware of your creative side, and practicing methods to encourage calm are subtle catalysts. Don’t look for a fix in a day. It takes time to alter how your body has been behaving for years.
Good luck and remember; if you want to bash me for this article, it could be your human condition wedging a quick fix to your lack for accountability.
Your destiny is your choice. If you believe you are happy then continue on with life in the status quo.
You are not the only one with hurdles to overcome. Check out the link below