Control and free to be one’s self

What we can learn about human relationships from wild animals.



Meet Juliet











Juliet is a feral cat I met when she was young enough to understand humans may be a predator.  She is one of many mulling around my yard.  I learned so much about respecting human independence and trust from Juliet.

Slowly she grew and would show up at my back door when she sniffed out food rewards.

Slowly I lured her into my kitchen lurking for food.  Then one day I closed the door on her hoping I could domesticate her.  I thought my way of life was the best for her.  I wanted it my way.  I thought I could change dear Juliet.  She scrambled around the house searching for an escape.  I live in a 1900 home.  She found a small hole to and entered the crawl.  From there she clawed her way through a crawl vent and escaped my capture.  The next morning, she was at the back door waiting for food.  I opened the door and if she could have said anything this is what she said.




John, I trusted you and you tried to change me without my permission. Don’t expect me to come into your home because at this point the trust is gone.

I thought I lost her. She now sets the rules and boundaries.


I thought I lost her.  It took one year to achieve what you see in the photo. She now sets the rules and boundaries for herself.  With this understanding and acceptance, we enjoy each other.

Lesson: in a relationship we must learn not to expect our companion to change beyond their desire.  Love them for who they are and allow them to be free.  A relationship will only change when one in themselves has the desire.

Maybe, in time both will relate from the heart and all will prevail.