How we became-us

An overview of how you get to be who you are.


Why we should have a clear understanding of our Influencers


Too often we go through life shooting arrows at what our impulse feels is right.  Often, we don’t stop to embrace the profound purpose of life.   I too find myself wanting to be right and feel the need to be recognized.  Its my way of striving for the feel good.  The point is to become aware.  Having a better understanding how we are coded at birth and what influences us to become who we are can bring us a much better understanding for forgiveness and love.  Those are two aspects that make us all great or fearful.

That said, I’m an advocate of understanding the main contributors to how I turned out this way.  We are more apt to manage our life better or at least less stressful by understanding how we turned out this way.


Learning the path of how we deliver ourselves to adulthood, maturity, or accountability is far from easy.  Mostly because at our light speed life we pay little attention to the HOW until some peril hits us like a meteor. Maybe if we understood how we got here we would make alternate decisions and influence those we are responsible for.


Typical behavior is to hold on to resentments against those who we feel hurt us.  We do this to satisfy our urge to satisfy the human desire to feel good.  It is kind of like a quick fix band aid without applying an antibiotic.  In our human judgment, its easier to pass our accountability to others because we are lacking understanding of human flaws.  They wronged us yet we continue to be angry for what they did.  Somehow that doesn’t seem equitable.  We believe anger will somehow balance the scale.  We unconsciously defend our role in it by blaming others.  In reality, revenge doesn’t change reality of what happened.  Human emotions are tricky.  A basic understanding of how humans develop their character can help us develop a better understanding of forgiveness.  In addition, knowing in advance how our human flaws will trigger our interpretations can help redirect our responses.  The awareness is more difficult than the denial.  If we at least embrace the possibility of the human flaw, we can begin to heal. That in itself can reduce stress and prolong our life. At some point we must learn to be thorough and use caution prior to engaging.  Understand the role we play in the engagement.  Have logical consequences for perils.  Then hold them responsible for their part but don’t get angry.  Anger will not change either’s mistake.  It will only stunt our growth.


How and why our body and mind functions through this is key to dissolving those illusions.  Plus, we will lay down our level of frustration.  Not only does it free us of the pain but it also allows room for us to discover more greatness within ourselves.  I often call the resentments, Drinking the poison of others in an attempt to achieve “feel good”.  Managing the human flaw of using anger to resolve other’s responsibility takes a willingness to learn about humans.  Understanding the influencers that caused the ill thinking is important to healing.

A cliché often used is, “You should have known better”.  At what specific age should someone know better for any specific action.  There is no magic date.  Expecting a child or adolescent to be sin free after the day of confirmation or first communion is obsured.  There will not necessarily be a change in our behavior unless we acknowledge the flaw we are taught that we will be punished in the afterlife. Just because you hear the words “its wrong” does not necessarily bare on your belief system.


Paraphrased, Step 1 of addiction recover says we come to understand our life is not manageable.


For real change to occur in our life we must truly and profoundly open ourselves to understanding our human flaws and strengths.  Then be willing to explore emotions beyond our collective unconscious.  Admitting we must change takes real humility. Those are the reactional emotions we where born with.  Later, after exposure to life’s external influences, we must again be open to change or at least the possibility.  The dichotomy is being wired to feel good and love yet we hold resentments expecting the feel good.

Lets get into the why and what happens prior to actual realization.


Without question, man is one of the most complex species on earth.  We are born with particular instinctive triggers.  Like what is funny to us.  Being born with it is our Geno.  We are the most complex computer of Xs and 0s.  It is our program or coding just waiting to be organized.  How we learn to manage our Geno is mostly based on our influencers.  It is those influencers that help us learn to manage the instinct in our makeup. Not only our inborn responses but the possibilities of how to redirect and manage the impulsive reaction. How we are influenced also impacts how we influence generations to follow.


I’ve heard so many people say they are not going to raise their kids the same as they were raised.  Yet they give little thought to the work it takes to implement that commitment.  What happens is we subliminally influence our children or others in nearly the same manner we swear we will not..


Our unemployment rate dropped significantly in 2018 & 2019.  We put to work people who never worked or had any clue how to make judgments.  Then when they made an unthinkable mistake, we hold them responsible rather than reaching inside ourself to understand we have not put in the programing of those who do not know.

Let’s dive into the three causes of behavior:

The human Geno:


You were born with the Geno.  Remember,  we are a basic program of Xs and 0s.  Psychologically its labeled “The collective unconscious”. We are born with instincts and traits.  Crying, laughing, blue eyes, blond hair, twins in the family. The dark instincts as well and the light ones.  Our brain is void of management data, its empty.  Our thoughts are triggered by external actions.  We react instinctively until our empty brain gets influenced with other possibilities.


Fear and joy are an instinct that further develops through our influencers.  In the beginning, how fearful or joyful is a Geno instinct.  Go to a ski slope and watch kids under 6 fly down a mountain with little regard for danger. Yes, they have instinct for fear but their adrenalin overpowers it.  As we grow up, how we manage those born with instincts is the key.  Eagle chicks are void of how to fly.  When they leave the mountain top, they either figure it out on the way down or crash.  If we are left to figure out life we are likely to do the same.  More often our resource or self-analysis causes a crash.

There are some systems put in place by man that I call super systems.  Prison without rehabilitation, Religion, How we abuse Christmas


Personal examples of the human Geno

 Here is an example of my Geno Flaws.  note: you may replace the word alcohol or sex with any other word you can better relate to.  The common denominator is excessive behavior to reach our instinctive desire to “feel good” as fast as we can.  Many addictions or behaviors are influenced though different parts of our physical or psychological systems

Live example: Some of my Geno was flawed in the way to be triggered by alcohol, sex and insecurity. I also inherited a sexual incestual muted gene and a more than normal emotional insecure gene.  These are critical behaviors were influenced caused a great deal of damage.


My parents were loving but not educated in proper influencing.  They never discouraged me from drinking and smoking at the family holiday parties. At 6 years old my sexual behavior was encouraged by two aunts who influenced me to play the game of peak and touch.  It was a fun game that for me supported my search for the feel good from insecurity.  I was pretty much left to raise myself while my parents did the best they knew how to sustain the economic struggles.  Without encouragement I developed a sense of insecurity.  Enough of the negative influencer can also push otherwise healthy system over the brink of normalcy.

All the influencers in Familia is responsible for our programing at such a young age.  It becomes our internal law..

The science behind how our instinctive Geno reacts mostly through our neurotransmitter system. Basically, a chain reaction of neurons triggers an out pouring of neurotransmitters that our body reacts to in out of proportionate ways. Then our normal neurons fight to keep us in balance.  After a while, our system begins to close down and not transmit those transmitters that were the very cause of our feel good.  That then causes us to push harder to recreate the euphoria. The point, we can be born with this flaw.  It all comes down to how we are influenced to satisfy our desire to feel good and overcome fear.  Even normal Geno can be damaged by influencers.  Inherently parents teach us not to jump in traffic.  Eventually we realize the consequences on our own.


Misunderstood and underdeveloped management system can often cause what seems to be insurmountable damage.  Much of our behavior can be altered through Geno management once we understand how it works.  Changing our management system is not easy because it entails breaking our law of understanding from a source we never knew existed. The problem occurs that we are not aware of the better way.  We must have faith that we will learn from a place of we don’t know what we don’t know.  Recovery programs call the changes miracles.  We must humble ourself and accept we need help changing.


More on Influencers

How our influencers impact us


 Domestication or Familial : This is our close family influencer. At a young age we are influenced to believe in the tooth fairy, Santa clause or the troll under our bed at night.  Our influencers, Familia, feel good to see us happy.  They teach us the lies and since we have no other baseline data to refute it, we believe it.  Who inherits specific traits is a crap shoot of chromosomes.  In the beginning we cry to express displeasure because we don’t know how to say “I’m unhappy”.  We cry when we feel pain until we see our Familia say “Dam, that hurts”.  We are taught boys play with fire engines and GI Joes and girls play with dolls and dress up. From the day we are born we are fed with data of how to manage our Geno instinct.  It is often predicated on a baseline of opinion.  Remember that quote earlier? “I’m not going to raise my kids the way I was raised”?  The problem here is the teacher never necessarily obtained good data on how to train the Geno differently.  Familial influences are so impactful because they come to us at a time in our life when our brain is void of methodology and logic and information.


We act on instinct until data is fed to our empty brain.  Much of domestication system is fed to us under 12.  These young years are most impressionable to our Geno because our brain is empty.  We collect data to manage our reactions later in adolescence.  This management data usually goes unquestioned.  We assume it is what is right.

General influencer systems also in place that begin at his point in our life are religions.  There are about 4,000 religious belief systems being used to influence our human life’s behavior.  This note is not intended to deny truth or not.  It is mentioned so site a strong influencer of humans.  There can be hold backs or confusion resulting in this belief system.  Often humans use this to limit their human experience.  It is my belief that this belief is to create hope and love for endlessness and to systematically limit the human flaw of recklessness and true human accountability.  If it works for you, use it.  Our influencers used the philosophy to their own human flaw.  All that is really taught in this arena is love, joy and hope.  We added fear, Hell, to it because of our inability to really influence its greatness.


 Environmental:  At some point, we join the physical, psychological and literal world of influences. Through radio, TV, human socialization and self-actualization, our Familial Influencer gets competition.  During this time, we become aware of our independence.  This is when we form our own opinion called collective conscious. Adolescence is a time when the next phase of our Geno management is learned.  This happens somewhere between 12 and 29.  Yes, I said 29.  We seem to have these expectations that we mature and come to realization sometime between 18 to 30.  Even that age can stretch to 40.  And at that time we still may not evolve if we are not influenced in the love, joy and hope methodology.  During this time of 18 to 40 we compare our self-management style against our peers.  We form our own opinions.  A problem can arise because we are comparing new data against how we were influenced during childhood.  Remember the “I don’t know but its not going to be the way it was”?  We compare what we now see to how we were taught and in our effort for independence and identity we formulate our own immature opinion.  If our behavior has been influenced in a way that we are insecure, we have more of a tendency to want to be right.  At times, our interpretation can be clouded by our desire to feel good.


I’m not saying the result goes a rye in all cases.  However, Its certainly prevalent in many.   It’s a redefinition of all the data we’ve been fed over the years.  Add this to our Geno and voila, we get us, our truth, our law.  That is until such time that truth is proven wrong.  That is our reality for the moment.  This usually comes in some big bang theory event.  Often it is not understood until we have some true mature understanding of life.  We continue to collect data and learn from the many results.  At some point we call it maturity.

Our greatest Gift


People may be asked what is our greatest gift.

Simply put its our gift of being a human.  Proof is we only get one go at it.  it is unfortunate how we are influenced through greed and abuse in our effort to seek “feel good” throughout own irresponsibility.



I encourage you to dig deep in your dreams and launch your right to be happy.  It is not easy but very rewarding.  Do not worry about money.  Follow love, joy and hope and the money part will follow.  At least that is how my life went.


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