Do you dare enter a stage of discovering your potential while on a path toward self actualization
Are you burning irreplaceable time, on judgment, anger and self limiting excuses...
“There is a principal which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep man in everlasting ignorance – That principle is contempt prior to investigation.”
“Contempt prior to investigation” was penned almost a century earlier by another, “Contempt prior to examination is an intellectual vice, from which the greatest faculties of mind are not free.
British philosopher, William Paley
Basically, contempt prior to investigation means having a conclusion before you have all of the facts. In many cases, those who read this may say it does not apply to me. Often, a human condition will be to be absent minded of many possibilities. You don’t know what you don’t know.
The context of being judged in this subject is directed at negative judgment. Although, at times, you may be judged as superman because you’ve accomplished a great feat. Then others may set a new standard of expectation from you. This would not be fair to judge you a computer programmer because you can download applications.
How do you feel when you are judged wrong? More so, when you are judged under a false pretense that you meant something other than how you meant it. This is the epitome of downfall when it comes to texting and emails. Human inflections are missing. Some offshoot attempt to correct this was implemented with the cliche “LOL” and emojis.
What is important is to understand the personal weight of burning productive time within ourselves when we judge ourselves or others.
Spending time calling yourself a failure will never get you to success. Unless of course you view a mistake as a learning challenge to recreate. We often impulsively judge others prior to a thorough investigation of all their real intentions. Judgment is an opinion kind of like saying I like sweet or sour. You can make a drastic mistake of bighting into a hot pepper if all you’ve bitten was a mild pepper. Ask yourself a few questions prior to running off to define a situation.
1. Do I have all the data to respond?
2. Do I at all try to understand my interpretation comes from my limited knowledge?
3. What purpose do I hope to serve by judging this situation?
4. Is it any of my business?
If you live in a negative world, always judging bad of others, it may be a time for introspection. Stress impacts the heart which is the #1 killer of disease. Recognize it and research why you behave this way and how not judging can create a new mindset in yourself.
Admittedly , changing our condition of judgment is not easy. It usually takes some peril to quickly change any unwanted condition. Many drive under the influence of alcohol until their action kills someone. Lying, cheating, eating, addictions and many others take constant reminders before change can be affective. Humans are wired this way. Think about a feeling when under the influence of some happy pill, drug, or food. We often tuck away any worry or ill feeling. This proves, with a strong understanding, we can change our condition. Our neurological system can trigger chemicals that distract judgment or anger. With hard work, we can change our emotional behavior to eliminate judgment. This is not to be confused with a complacent attitude. We need some inquisitiveness and fear to protect us from perils. You shouldn't run into traffic thinking mankind will dodge you. At some point your going to get hit by a car. In this case you use good judgment.
A profound question is, why do we judge?
Refer to the two basic human instincts; desire to feel good and defense against fear. We may judge because we are upset enough to voice our opinion. When we do, we are serving some inner purpose. It makes us feel good to be right. It may validate our knowledge base or hierarchy among those we judge. We may not think of it that way, but you are either happy or not or fall somewhere under the two. The in between is a balance of both. We often, are quick to judge to satisfy our need to feel good. It is easier than addressing our own faults. Accepting responsibility for our role in the behavior can be to admit we are wrong.
A huge flaw in judgment is it is usually a composition of our opinion. Many times, without all the facts. This is where “Contempt without Investigation” comes into play. We hear or see an action and from that we form an opinion from our internal data base. Very often our opinion knows little or nothing of what is behind the opposing action that caused you to form an opinion and adversely judge the action.
Someone may commit an act with good intentions. Its true that it may impact those judged in a negative way. However, if we investigate the act and consider another intention was being conveyed, we may relieve ourselves of personal stress. Get all the information before drawing a conclusion. If they continues to judge you unfairly, you may want to put distance between the relationship.
The reason is, they can not see or know what they don’t know. They continue to act on their belief system.
A skeptical employer may assume you entered the restaurant before hours to steel food or take money. When in fact, you went in early to get a jump on the days TO DO’S.
Judging is often an act of burning good time of our life to satisfy a self-created illusion. There is no profit in it. Especially when we don’t know what is really behind another’s intension.
A man I know asked me to borrow money. He promised to pay me back in three days. He did not. He made excuse after excuse. In contemplation, it was me that made the decision to say yes to the loan. I could and should have known better to say no. He was acting out of sorts. In desperation from his circumstances. For me to judge him harshly would not change the debt. It only causes personal strain and diverts my responsibility for lending him the money. I should have required abundant collateral to enforce his intentions.
THE BIOLOGY BEHIND JUDGMENT
There is no tangible profit in judgment. Why does our body use this tool.
When we judge favorable, we in essence satisfy our reward system. We get a similar reward when we judge unfavorable. As humans, wired to be rewarded, why would we be judgmental if there was not a reward in it for us. So then why does our mind judge? What happens inside our mind?
Whether we share our negative judgment or keep it to ourselves there is no tangible benefit. Another question is, do we take time to collect all the data available to the situation or do we use a baseline of information from our human experiences? We often guess. Do we partake only to validate something missing in our reward system? Perpetrators and victims may exaggerate only to seek sympathy and empower their esteem. The art of exaggeration is not a new concept. It is an instinctive art to reward ourselves.
If we hear someone is assaulted, we may exaggerate the story. It could be the victim was only verbally assaulted. Our mind may interpret the word assault to be a bodily attack. Even when we have all the data do we embellish our conclusion? A game was created called operator. People gathered in a circle. One person would whisper a sentence of occurrence in their neighbor’s ear. By the time they reached the end, an aunt hill bursting with aunts evolved into an erupting volcano. I’m often asked if the story of God was exaggerated. Over thousands of years, this story was written and shared by millions and reinterpreted over many languages. It is man’s accounting. Is it possible we created God to satisfy our conditioned faults? How many times have you shared a story that didn’t require telling? We may say we are warning others. We say we alert others to protect them. Our human conditioning may seek another objective. That is to satisfy the need for validation. Maybe it is to feed our reward system at the moment. Sometimes it is a total internal battle. Our own ego may be begging for reward. We use many tools in our mind to barter for a shot of feel-good neurotransmitters. So much unnecessary currency, time of our life, is burned up. It all leaves us shallow short-term reward. We could be spending that currency giving thought to creation or joy.
We often Judge without complete investigation. Do we take the time to ask our self if we are judging with the purpose of elevating ourselves? Do we judge only to feel good? Do we judge at all? What is the tangible asset for judging? There is none.
So what triggers this constant anger or negative judgment in some of us. Truly some of our behavior is instinct in our DNA. Ever heard the cliché. “your just like your ???.” You may never have known each other. Yet you have his traits.
How profound your level of judgment is may depend on your level of inheritance. Then comes all the levels of life that condition you to have a need for validation. You may not have an education level and have a reduced esteem trait. You don’t like that you are not as educated as your peers. Thus, you may feel subservient to them. The result is wanting to be right. The problem is your knowledge base is too shallow. You don’t think so because you have nothing to gauge it against. The result is you rely on your internal knowledge base. You want to be right so you express a limited opinion.
How many times do you have to be wrong before you want to change it? How many others beside yourself must you hurt? The resolve is, don’t judge without full investigation. Just, shut, up! Don’t judge if it is going to hurt someone. For all sakes, don’t open a judgment with the cliché, “I don’t mean to hurt you”. That’s an attack you know is wrong. You meant to elevate your self-knowing it would hurt another. This is one reason therapist don’t tell us the diagnoses. We have to see it ourselves.
I suggest contempt without investigation is reactionary emotional symptom of our body’s management system of emotions. The symptom of aggression, anger or frustration is displayed depending on the intense level of norepinephrine our cortisol system triggers. This is commonly called the sympathetic nervous system. it is our defense system to help balance our ill feelings.
You stop in the gas station for coffee. The attendant is not attentive. They have their head down and in a somber mood. We say, “you know, you could smile”. They respond, “I can’t, my mom died last night and I need to work to support my kids”
Your conclusion was you were wrong to the max. it was all to serve yourself.
Empowering ourselves triggers dopamine in us. This part of our nervous system is our parasympathetic system balancing our need to offset our disappointment in them. When there is an imbalance of correction or lack of the soothing transmitter, we remain in judgment mode. Some people immediately take some sort of external trigger chemical to help soothe our raging emotion. Others temporarily use judgment without having full understanding of why they judge. In any case, judgment is a self-protector to temporarily satisfy our lack of chemical balance. We fire off this outburst in our mind and it seems to work. However, it is only temporary. The cost is hurting others. We don’t like being judged yet we dish it out.
Being aware of why we act out will help us understand it is a self-imposed reaction based on illusion from our own opinion. This will implant more of a sympathetic response from us. People will respond more favorably, and we still get to feel good because our love is validated.
Set a one-month goal to be aware and commit not to judge regardless of a situation. Facial expressions are a form of judgment so be careful. You may be asked if you are okay because you are not judgmental. You will be liked more.
Often, health providers will administer drugs to help control our unbalanced emotions. Much of our internal neurological excitatory system is shut down with drugs. If there is a problem with the system like pharma, it is administered without therapy. Therapy is the art of the recognition and reconditioning our human condition.
Much of my own behavior was out of control until I took it upon myself to study and understand the process. The easy-to-read books are out there if we want to learn peace. This doesn’t mean awareness is a cure all. It does emphatically suggest it can resolve a large percentage of our emotional judgment. The result can be what some would call a miracle of great behavior and outcome. It creates space in our mind to grow and discover our greater potential. This is a path toward self-actualization. We are on the way to greater inner happiness.
Until we become aware, we do to our children, friends, spouse and parents, exactly what we don’t like to receive. None of it is well serving to any of our relationships. A great deal of the source comes from your childhood and adolescent conditioning. It gets planted in you.
A key to begin is;
1. Ask if it is your business.
2. Remind yourself you may not know all the circumstances of this incident. Your substantiated personal opinions are not grounds for ultimate conclusions.
When we judge favorable, we in essence satisfy our reward system by complimenting and positively reinforce others. We get a similar feeling when we judge unfavorable. The problem with unfavorable judgment is we hurt others.
Here is a supporting article you may enjoy:
Here is a supporting article you may enjoy: https://exploringyourmind.com/happens-judge-others/
I misjudged my sister
My sister was the first person I saw die before my eyes. Well not the first but the first who I watched take 8 hours to pass in front of me.
I found this experience to bring more peace and understanding of human behavior. Her death brought introspection and identification to the time line of life. Before her death, I interpreted her demeanor as controlling and selfish. Her death and deep contemplation brought me to a more profound understanding of who she was.
Her brief history was fighting through domestic control of an immigrant father’s European culture. I’d watch dad come home to bank on her bedroom door accusing her of being a hussy for hanging with friends at the local drive-in restaurant. After Ten or twelve years of marriage, her husband moved the family back to the homeland of Cleveland from Houston. He brought his family home only to surprise her with a divorce. She was left with two daughters and turmoil. He was a nice man suffering from his own conditioning and a diagnosis of Cancer. She lived in the basement of my home with her young daughters while working her survival plan. Having been a domestic housewife she now had to raise two daughters on her own while fighting her way up the corporate ladder. She raised her daughters and went on to retirement. She did well for herself. For years I misjudged her behavior. Never did I take time to thoroughly understand her enormous struggles. Imagine the fears she faced during her recovery and re-discovery of who she was and who she had to become to be the leader of the family. Then she died. Where I misjudged her was labeling her as a hierarchy controller. Revisiting her life, I realized I misjudged her by not having all the information. I’d have to say she was a strong human. Having started over in a new city while being a guardian of her daughters. Then becoming an executive in the workforce. In retrospect, she was a leader I’d aspire to have become. I never came to this end conclusion until I laid down a new path to replace prior human condition. I invested so much time judging her while she was alive rather than having fun when I visited her in her retirement home in Arizona.
I misjudged Myself
I grew up feeling a sense of insecurity and intimidation. To solve the problem of worthlessness I moved on to alcohol at 14. I took on a very low persona of myself. With exception to a one-year brake, this went on until I was 41. At that point I experienced my big bang. I began looking in a place I never thought existed. That is where I came to understand my life was filled with misjudgment of myself. All this because my interpretation came without all the information. it turns out I became successful in business and adventure. Under 41, I did not have all the information to understand my self. I created an illusion designed from the data which I was conditioned.
Under 41, I did not have all the information to understand my self. I created an illusion designed from the data which I was conditioned. Once i researched and studied my condition, I learned it was all my thoughts. I would have to change what I thought of myself. I had to find out more about my condition. If we look where nothing appears to be, we may find who we are looking for. I assure you, it’s worth the exploration to see what appears to be not there.
There is a prayer used by Christians that applies to all. I paraphrase.
Its deeper than just a prayer. It can release us from human illusion of ourselves. We ask God or the universe for an understanding of the tricks our conscious and unconscious being plays on us. If,,, we ask to be granted the serenity to accept the things we cannot change and the courage to change the things we can, we are asking our mind to alter our thinking. This has to be with a willingness to explore who we are. That is the power of our own will. We can use that unlimited will to open our mind to our conditioning and the will to change it. Remember, at this point we are using our data. We need to explore possibilities we are not familiar with. This is what happens to an addict who decides to discover who they can be. Its wild how it works. Our brain begins to fire the chemicals that causes our brain to lay down a new neurological path. Voila! We begin more growth. It does not begin until we begin an awareness of ourselves. (Miguel Ruiz: the mastery of love and Mastery of self). The book is a plea to free ourselves. We must have an understanding of how the brain and conditioning work to reprogram it. We must understand all of how we work before we judge ourselves. One more time. Do not judge yourself until you have all the information. Hopefully, you will determine you are suffering from an influence that is an illusion.
There is a much better way to reward ourselves. In plain language, don’t burn the currency it takes to hate yourself. There is no long-term payoff. Rather, invest the time rewarding yourself with the joys in the world. Before we judge, we should breathe and ask if any of the embattled thoughts are productive. Call someone and tell them you love them. Take a hike, play music, take photos, listen to the birds sing, advance your education by reading an article or book that interests you. There are hundreds of actions we can launch to help validate ourselves.
Live right and love others and you will be living in the principles intended to enjoy your tour on earth. You are the higher power. Use it humbly. Remember, you are the prize of yourself.
We should ask ourselves a few questions prior to judgment:
Do I have all the information to make the comment?
What good will be served to judge.
Do I like it when I’m unfairly judged?
Am I able to accomplish the same goal in a more positive way?
It is all up to us to become aware and make changes within ourselves.
If i've touched one person in a positive manner, I've don't my job