Once upon a time I decided to join the gym because I wanted to tone my body. As my tone and shape began to form into something, my esteem and ego were growing. I was attracted to me and I began to push harder and build muscle. Then I decided to change my diet to further tone and form my body. The reinforcement came from men saying I had guns. Then I purchased a lot of T shirts so I could show off my "guns" more.
At the same time the gazes from women grew to a longer time span.
While all this was going on my esteem grew. Okay this has gone on for years. And this is what went wrong. My mind continued to feel bruised when hit by life.
Then as I grew older I began paying attention to the noise in my head. It more or less looked like the clutter at my desk. Although my cloths were hung in the closet there was still a sense of disorganization. I found myself making sentences that could have been composed better. Mind you now, I didn't begin really noticing all this until I hit 60. I'm typing this blog at nearly 70. Last thought on this part. If I were to open the hard drive on my computer just for an hour, I can't begin to tell you what a mess would be lying around the room.
Through the last 30 years I was driven to some discovery. Some say we really don't begin to grow until we fall to our bottom. Others say the same but in different words like we don't really begin freeing ourselves of our human ego until we touch bottom. In a sense it's true. You might be driving your car under the influence of alcohol until you are arrested for drunk driving. You may not stop over dosing on oreos until you have to be pryde out of the chair. Anyway you get it.
Back to the Gym. This time something was different. There has been so much noise in my head that I was reaching bottom. Too much distraction. I decided to do this a little different.
This time, rather than facing all the pretty girls and musclemen, I decided to face the wall. This time, rather that rushing to get the most reps in the shortest time, I decided to contemplate during and through each rep. I began to move with finesse through 30 reps of stretches. Kind of like a marshal arts specialist moving through their routine with grace. I began to see the number rather than let my mind race. Breath in breath out. Each rep went as slow as it had to while all the time I focused on slowing my mind. Those 30 reps went from 3 minutes to 30 minutes. I ran the balance of my routine in the same fashion. Including on the weight routines. Slow and easy. Focused on slowing my mind.
And this is what I'm finding. When I go to the gym, I see too much noise. Meaning earbuds playing music that motivate and stimulate the rush to get through their reps. There breaks between reps are full of texting. That is when I realized all the other times I worked out I thought it was for health. It was mostly for ego. This time, the tone happens to be a byproduct of putting my mind at ease and unifying my mind and heart with my body. I look at my daily routine totally different. I now work on developing my mind. It really works.
If you don't get what I am saying, do some searches on the benefits of meditation. By the way. I was never able to slow myself down to meditation. I thought it was hocus pocus. I think this new thinking is creeping up on me. Be assured it takes time just like toning your body. Plus, it takes some thought, desire passion and faith.
You can do this. You really can.