Why are we who we are?
Ever ask yourself how you came about to have the characteristic traits that make you who your are? I'm sure you at least wondered. The answer often falls into the box of " I was born that way". If some sort of trama was involved you may have reverted to " I was bullied or abused".
There's this one diagnosis called collective consciousness. It's junk or gifts we're born with. Its not a fault. It just is.. from a broader evolution its kind of like evolving from an ape to man. That took thousands of years of evolution but we crawled on all fours to standing up.
There is not too much you can do about those traits. They may be physical or intellectual. What I mean by that is maybe you have a gift to sing or dance.
Another reason for our behavior is called domestication. This comes from direct exposure or indirect influences from living experiences or others who come in contact with you. If you are verbally abused while you are growing up you may come to believe what others say. Religious influence is one of the strongest domestication influences in your life. You may have a strong religious belief and then later in life something may impact you that creates doubt.
Someone may have told you to be all forceful or you will never get what you want. You then may turn out to be condescending. You may be taught to love and you take on that character. Domesticating influences can be very dangerous. A very relateable cultural shift would have come about if over the last 100 years, middle eastern behavior shifted to a more loving and peaceful behavior. A most recent Cultural shift is currently taking place in Saudi Arabia. after years of female oppression, the Saudi Prince is shifting to open driving to women. In addition, he is opening movie theaters. There may be underlying reasons but never the less, the mask of the oppression is shifting.
These shifts and belief systems also lie within our own family. The over control of a child by parents can cause insecurity.
These domestic behaviors are not easy to shift away from . What has to happen first is our mind to consider learning something we don't believe in or don't know. Once we consider the possibility of learning a new behavior we must push ever so diligently to open ourselves to the possibility for change.
Believing in Santa Clause or the Easter bunny is a cultural belief that comes from the way your parents raised you. When you grow up you learn it was a fantasy. Isn't the belief in God the same? I think the difference is Santa and the bunny don't pose a threat. Or sure, for a while, Santa was a threat. if you were naughty you would get coal packed in dirty boxes. With God its all different. If you stop believing in God you may lose discipline. For sure you will go to Hell after death. Unless of course God is just like the other two characters designed for some ulterior reason.
The idea here is how domestication can change who your are. The good thing is you can change it. Its not easy but you can.
We may be taught to fear spiders and then we talk ourselves into really fearing them. To a point of panic.
This is called self domestication. But others let bees and spiders and snakes crawl all over themselves with out worrying.
In other words, we continue the same behavior and find ourselves continually blaming others. We can't often change it because we don't know how to change it. We don't even realize it exists. It happens to be the only language that speaks in our head. You can't change what you don't know.
Then if we are really fortunate, something happens to us that causes us to hit the real bottom. I call that, the miracle. That leaves us with no hope accept to begin listening to ourself say, "I can't do this, the same way anymore."
If we are willing to be strong and research what we don't know, we launch a campaign of discovery. Until then, we cleverly hide our emotions by wearing an animated mask. And we hide from who we really are. Sometimes we revert to escapes into diversions. Obsessive behaviors. Habits of eating, drinking, smoking, porn, exercise. And even sinking yourself into the uncontrolled religious belief systems. A friend of mine could not make a decision because she was waiting for God to bring her the answer. She has lived her entire talented life holding herself back because the God bus has not shown up. I'm not against the God theory. As a matter of fact I'm knee deep in the bible now to try and learn what i don't know.
Do you often wish you could be who you really are without worry of being judged? Without wearing the uncontrollable mask?
A clever quote by James Morrison, American Singer:
The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You trade in your sense for an act. You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask.
Regardless of the pain, we wear the mask while trying to escape the emotional jail we live in.
You can change it all if you are really willing to work at it. Proof is,, I transcended from an insecure boy who could not play a sport to a skydiver, pilot, mountain hiker, skier and build 5 successful businesses. You can do this. You just have to free yourself of yourself.